Chicago Snow
by Bluejay141519
Summary: One mistake leads to harsh plethora of surprises-both good and bad. One-Shot. Jay!Whump


**So this is my peace offering as well as a bribe for your patience. I'm not going to be able to write a lot for a while...ignoring the surgery I now I have to undergo for my wrist, I also have to get back to work. Mid terms are next week and everything is just exploded in the extracurricular section.**

 **As always, I hope you like it. Drop me a review on the way out! They really help let me know what you guys want to see in the future and your support is extremely appreciated.**

* * *

 **Jay's P.O.V.**

In my defense, I've run in a lot worse conditions before, and I have never gotten this far up shit creek before.

In her defense, Lindsay did tell me not to go running today. Of course my stubborn head decided that I can and will prove her wrong because I'm Jay Halstead and it's what I do. Plus, it wasn't supposed to have already dumped two inches onto my trail. Normally the trees above the wooded path would have caught much of it.

But then to do that they would have to have leaves. I honestly can't tell you or anyone, really, what my thought process was there. Anyway.

I'm doing pretty good too, for starting late and trying to be careful on the half frozen path, my pace is pretty on point for six miles in twenty degree without wind chill weather. Oh, I should mention the fact that (and to quote Erin Lindsay before she left my apartment last night) 'no, I do not have a good reason for this, I'm just simply being an idiot.'

I guess I haven't quite gotten through to her what running means to me. It's my stress relief, my personalized anger management program. My freedom.

Add that to the fact that I love this particular trail as well as the challenge running in the snow gives me, no _way_ I was passing this up.

Until NOAA predicted that Chicago and its surrounding counties were to get the brunt of winter storm Lindsay, estimating a total of about four feet.

Erin didn't see the humor in that. In fact, she was quite pissed when I told her I was still driving out of the city to go run in the woods that almost six people have died in. Though it probably stemmed from worry. Don't know why she'd do that, the trail only runs right along the edge of varying steep declines and rock faced cliffs that all overlook a half frozen river.

Naaaahhhh. There's no reason to worry there. Especially when you consider the fact that I left my phone in the car because I didn't want anyone to bother me.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I'm discovering the lack of thought in my head this morning.

I arrived at my favorite campgrounds and trails about twenty minutes ago, laced up my sneakers and started my warm up mile. The trail itself is absolutely beautiful. Huge oaks and maples inter mingle for the first mile, but that slowly fades to pine, until suddenly you pop out into this huge birch tree wood that out looks the lake the river feeds.

The lake right now is frozen and covered with the falling snow, making the green island in the middle stand out even more. You don't realize it, but until you are at the farthest edge of the trail, you can't see how high up you are. At the farthest point of the birches, the trees thin, and you can walk right up the edge of a hundred fifty foot cliff. Complete with sharp rocks at the bottom.

See, the river for some reason eroded the rock at different rates at different spots in its path. So the end is a series of rapid water falls that slams into the lake, with giant rock faces on either side. The lake itself however, isn't this giant half filled bowl. As you go further from the river, the rock slopes down immediately, a steep but still gradual hill that makes a good hike, and eventually get level so that lake houses have the perfect place to sit.

Like I said. Really pretty in the winter time. Plus it's _quiet_. It's my main joy as I run, watching the snow fall. The only sound I can here is my feet crunching over iced leaves and my own steady breaths.

Naturally it doesn't last long.

My lungs ache, body struggling to warm the freezing air as I inhale it. However, it's ignored as more snow starts to fall, a heavy downfall that quickly starts adding depth to the layer on the trail. Sighing, I realize I need to go back soon, as I'm already pretty far out and by the time I get back there'll be at least eight inches to run through, which is a pretty big obstacle. Plus, the _last_ thing I want to do is get stuck out here.

Deciding to finish the last hundred feet of my fourth mile, I eagerly step up my pace, lengthening my stride.

Big mistake.

I don't get two steps before my left foot steps on a sloped rock, covered in ice and snow, near invisible to the eye. I'm thrown forward, way forward, right off the trail before landing hard on my shoulder. Then suddenly I'm weightless again, twisting in midair as I come to the understanding I must have fallen of the steep ravine that lies on the very edge of the trail. You know. The one that contains a river a the bottom.

' _Oh shi-'_

The thought is rudely cut off by my landing, something very hard and very cold and very _pointy_ smacking into my head, throwing the world into a static confusion. I know I keep tumbling, with the different impact points randomly popping up all over my body, that much is obvious. But my vision is white, and I can't tell if it's just from the snow or….

' _It's from the snow. It's because you can only see snow.'_ I force myself to banish the other thought, watching calmly as my white world starts to turn grey at the edges, bright spots dancing across my vision that slowly turn black, growing and spreading. Some part of me knows this means unconsciousness and that If I fall asleep now I'm going to die. I'm in the middle of nowhere, my phones in my car and nobody has any idea where I am. Plus there's at least three hours before I'd be late for work, maybe another three before Erin finally goes looking for me.

Still, This doesn't stop the darkness from seeping into my bones, growing heavier and heavier until it feels as though I'm on some really heavy sedatives, my muscles all relaxing in time as I finally reach the bottom, my unintended descent halted. I blink slowly, the dots suddenly receding to the edge of my line of sight, allowing me to get one last look of the lightening grey sky, watching as the snow falls slowly onto my face. The spots combine into a blackness that crawls quickly over my eyes, finally pulling me under and drowning me in a cold oblivion.

* * *

 **Erin's P.O.V**

"I'm going to kill him." I mutter under my breath as I climb the steps to intelligence. Waking to my desk I shed my coat, gazing around the bullpen. Noticing the only empty desk in the room, as well as the smirks from Ruzek and Atwater, my anger grows.

"Where the hell is he?!" I growl, crossing my arms and glaring at them. This, apparently plays off whatever joke they're running with, because the barely contained laughter turns into full out snorts and giggles.

"Oh you don't know?" Ruzek asks me, voice innocent as though he is playing along with me.

"No. I don't. Because that asshole was supposed to pick me up this morning and he left me standing in the fucking snow for over a half hour before I had to take the subway and jog my way over here, as to not be late. _So_ if you could so _kindly_ tell me where you're hiding him so I can kick his ass, that'd be great." I see Antonio and Al share a glance when they hear my tone.

"We….don't know where he is." Dawson answers.

"Oh, sure, that's why the two giggle Mcgee's over there can't shut up." I scoff. However, as I look, the two best friends have settled down, and are instead looking at each other with unsure faces.

"Um...no, that's not the reason we were..uh…"

"We actually don't know where Jay is." Kevin says, coming to his friends aid.

"Yeah, we assumed you knew and were just.." My eyes narrow.

"...Covering for him?!" I finish his sentence, my voice dangerously low. Adam swallows, glancing at Atwater.

"I just-"

"No." I growl, cutting him off.

"No, this needs to stop, okay?! I'm _done_ having to try and explain what I do on _my_ personal time and I'm _done_ with hearing you and your little _buddy_ over there, talk about what Jay and I do. We don't talk about you and Burgess, so if you could please, _please_ give us some fucking privacy, that'd be great!"

"Yeah, it would be that I don't have to hear about it." I whip around to see Voight staring us down, an extremely annoyed look on his face. Huffing I creep back to my desk, throwing a glare at a very shocked Ruzek.

"Sorry Erin." He mutters as Voight gazes around the bullpen.

"Where's Halstead?" I open my mouth got a sharp retort, but Al cuts me off, probably saving my ass.

"Kid's probably sick. We'll call him, If he doesn't pick up, me and Erin can knock his door. She can come with me later, I gotta talk to a C.I. Anyway."

"Hmpf. Well, can you do that sooner than later? The commander wants us to get on this Marshal case and I don't want to have to brief twice because Jay decided to sleep in." Al nods to me.

"Sure we'll go right now."

* * *

' _You've reached Jay Halstead, leave a message and-"_ Groaning, I hang up before his voice fully completes its course.

"Still nothing?" Olinski asks from his position behind the wheel.

"No. And I've called him like fifteen times, there's no way he could have _not_ been woken up by his phone, even if it was on vibrate."

"How do you know it's on?"

"Because it has ringed, all fifteen times." He glances at me in confusion.

"Don't worry about it." I say flatly as we pull up to Halstead's apartment complex. The meet with his C.I. was boring but quick, the short, unkempt man only offering a few points of information before taking off. My anger directed toward my partner slowly changed to worry. If he was sick, he would have called both me and Voight or at least he _should have._ Then of course their was the opportunity that he was dead to the world, but I've never known Jay to be a heavy sleeper and now that he's _not_ answering his phone at _all_ …I have a nagging feeling that something's really wrong.

I mean the last time this happened I found him passed out on his bathroom floor in a puddle of his own vomit. Which lead to Olinski and I struggling to take care of him for two days before dragging him to the hospital. Where he stayed. For almost a week.

I learned to trust my instinct about him after that, the little voice in my head that always screams ' _something's wrong'_ whenever he's in trouble. Albeit my worry for him may have become a little more prominent ever since we officially started dating, although it's always been there. I think everyone worries about Jay. He has a knack for getting himself in trouble.

Alvin slams his fist on the heavy, oak wood door.

"Halstead! You in there man?" He yells out while I fish my pockets for his key. O doesn't even blink an eye as I unlock the door, stealthily creeping into the quiet apartment, Alvin following and closing the door behind me.

"Jay?" I call out, flicking on a couple lights. There's no answer as Alvin slips past me to check he rest of the apartment. I glance around the kitchen.

"He's not here." Olinski calls, returning to my position.

"Yeah, neither are his keys or phone." I reply, pointing to the empty charger next to his little dish where all his keys are kept.

"Ooookay. Well, there's no sign of a struggle and since the door was locked with the lights off, I'm going to assume he left willingly. Where he went is the better question." A thought strikes me at his words, my feet unconsciously bringing me to his bedroom, Alvin following close behind. I stop in front of his open closet, staring for a moment before going back into his kitchen and returning with a chair, which I place carefully on the carpeted floor. Standing carefully, I'm able to reach the small, hidden safe placed on the very top shelf.

Muttering the code as I turn the dial, I can almost feel the question Olinski is gonna ask, even as I pull out the contents of the metal box. Sighing, I step off my makeshift stool, showing the items to Al.

"He left his badge and gun here." A deeper sense of dread settles in my stomach.

"So wherever he went…"

"...it wasn't on official business." I finish his sentence, with a groan, moving to relocate Halstead's gun.

"So we can't track him then." I heave another sigh as I click the safe shut. Jumping off and picking up the chair, we return to the front of his apartment, where I finally reply.

"No, we can't. At least not officially and not for 24 hours, assuming he doesn't turn up." We turn to go back out when I spy something.

"Hey Al?" I call to my mane shift partner, who was already halfway out the door.

"Yah?"

"Hold on." He returns to my position, following my gaze to the floor.

"What's up?"

"Everyday at four thirty in the morning, Jay gets his ass out of bed and goes for a run. Rain or shine. Ninety degrees or negative thirty."

"Ok." I point to the only opening in the neat line of shoes we both gaze at.

"What don't you see here?"

"Uh…"

"Running shoes. " I turn, staring at the senior detective as the realization dawns on me.

"His running shoes are gone." I repeat, briskly walking past him and out of the apartment. He scrambles to catch up with, although I do lock the door before flinging out my cell and calling mouse.

" _Hey, Erin what's up?"_

"I need you to check all the hospitals in Chicago for Jay or any John Does matching his description."

" _What? Why?! What happened at his apartment?"_

"Just do it Mouse!" I yell, my voice echoing off the concrete walls of the stair well we now descend. Not bothering to wait for his ascent, I end the call, grabbing the keys from Olinski and together we exit into the parking lot. Sliding into the driver's seat, I have a hard time getting the car out of the snow drifted parking lot and an even harder time navigating the streets. Apparently The plows haven't been able to get out in a while, because there's at least six inches of snow on the roads and more is coming down.

The temperature has dropped too. Not that it was anywhere near thirty this morning, but as of right now, the thermometer in the Buick says it's an easy ten, not including wind chill. We're just at the last light before the precinct when dispatch announces the mayor having declared a state of emergency for Chicago and its outlying provinces. I share a look of dread with Olinski. This means we can't go out of district 21 except for on an official call.

It's probably the first and only time I will Halstead to be in the hospital. Because if he's not and he's out in this…

A jarring thump rocks the car as I pull into the parking lot, knocking me from the thoughts.

"That's the curb." Olinski mutters as I scramble out, almost falling on my face with the first step. However I quickly get my footing, sliding my way in the main garage door before clawing open the heavy metal side door and running over to Mouse's station.

"Did you find him?" I ask breathlessly. Mouse jerks his head up from his computer, already shaking his head.

"No and I even sent his picture to all of the hospitals to compare to any none identified persons. Nothing. All I got was a promise the call if he turned up." I nod.

"Did you tell Voight?"

"Yeah. He told me to do it, but he wants to know what you found at his place to warrant it."

"Got it." I start to walk towards the stairs to got to the main floor, when Mouse stops me again.

"Hey, uh, Erin, if it would be possible, I would like to know too. Please." He says in his typical timid way, words squished together out of nervousness. I'm about to launch into a detailed explanation of my reasons when I realize, I don't actually have proof that he out there right now. I mean it is entirely possible he's sitting somewhere, riding out the storm. But then why not answer his phone? And his shoes….

I tell him this, and while he agrees that it makes sense, he also tells me that the whole shoe thing is a pretty weak argument.

"I _do_ however have an idea on fixing that problem." He motions me to his computer.

"You said his phone was on right?"

"Yeah, it was ringing." Mouse nods, starting to type on his keyboard.

"Well, then we should be able to get a location fairly easily…" He slams the enter key and a map pops up on one of the many monitors he has on his desk, a little red blip blinking on the far edge. I point to it.

"Where is that?" He hits a few more keys and the map zooms in.

"Looks like it's in a parking lot just outside the south west side of Chicago." Confusion crosses both of us at the location.

"Okay, well is there anything there or did...did someone just toss his phone there." Mouse stares at me, a mixture of fear and nervousness playing, half hidden on his face. I immediately assume I look the same.

"Well?" I ask we he continues not to move. This seems to shock him out of his stare enough to hit a few more keys.

"Marshal Campgrounds and trails." The second the tech wiz tells me of the location, it clicks. A previous conversation from the night before suddenly making itself available.

...

' _Are you really going to run tomorrow? We're supposed to get like four feet of snow in twenty four hours.' I ask him as he piles some Chinese food on two plates._

' _Nah. There'll barely be three inches on the ground by the time I'm done.' He comes around the corner and hands me a plate, giving me a peck on the cheek before walking into the living room and plopping down on the couch, continuing his reasoning._

' _Besides, I love running in the snow. It's awesome.' I scoff at his words, although I do join him on the huge squishy brown couch that sits in front of his T.V. that is currently playing a hockey game._

' _Awesome?! Try dangerous and stupid. I wouldn't risk my life running on snow covered streets in Chicago. For a city of snow, people sure don't know how to drive in it.' I reply sarcastically. He hands me a fork, then shoves some of his own food in his mouth._

' _So?' He replies, mouth full of lo mien._

' _ **So**_ … _.I don't you want to get hurt for a work out.' He swallows then smiles at me._

' _Well, then it's a good thing I'm not running in Chicago, isn't it?'_

…

"That was it. That was where he told me he was going." Mouse stares at me with a question on his face.

"He went running for almost five hours in _this?"_

"Yeah, he likes to get his heart rate up." I deadpan. He stares at me.

"No, of course not idiot." I continue.

"He goes running at like five in the morning." His eyes widen.

"So if he got hurt, he's been out there for..." I glance at my phone for the exact time, but a gruff voice answers for him.

"Almost four hours now." We both jump then whirl around to face Voight and Al, the rest of the team filing in behind him.

"If my memory serves me correct I do believe I told you to inform me of the _exact_ reason as to why my detective decided to quit his job for a day. And as Al was so kind to do that for you-" Voight pauses to glare at me then mouse who shrinks slightly before continuing.

"- _we_ now are going to find him. _Together._ And _you_ are not going to act like you're on desperate housewives, otherwise I will handcuff you to your desk and you can wait while the rest of us find him. We understand each other?"

I narrow my eyes, but nod in assent.

"Good. Now where is he?"

"If we knew that do you think we'd still be here?" I answer sarcastically. Al, Voight and Mouse all turn their heads to me, Voight especially with a dangerous look on his face. Taking a deep breath I push it through my lips in a sigh.

"Sorry." I mutter. The three turn back to mouses screen. As the tech explains our current theory, I sprint up to the locker room, grabbing my gloves and heavy coat, both of which I neglected in the rush to get to Jay's apartment.

Rushing back to the districts makeshift garage thingy, I pass a window, flinching as the wind gives a huge howling gust.

 _You'll find him, Erin, you'll find him._

Repeating the thought over and over to myself helps to calm the raging anxiety over my boyfriends safety, if only slightly. Shoving my fingers into my tight gloves, I follow the small crowd of detectives to the door. Ruzek tosses me a flashlight and a radio. I stare at the piece of equipment oddly.

"How-" I start to ask before Mouse walks by in a huge coat that almost swallows him, explains how he took the radios off our vests. I raise an eyebrow but don't question it, instead flipping up my hood and pushing my way out into the storm.

The parking lot takes some time to navigate through, but eventually I reach my designated car with Voight and Dawson already in the front seats. The car starts rolling forward before the inside is even warmed, Ruzek, Atwater and Olinski following behind us as we slid out of the parking lot.

It takes a while to get there, although only about thirty minutes, the trip would have taken about fifteen had there been no snow. We finally push our way into the unplowed dirt parking lot, only one lone car situated in the far end, it's nose facing a huge forest that sits no more than five feet in front of the cleared area.

I don't hesitate to jump out of the still moving SUV, sprinting over to the other car. One sweep across the hood confirms my suspicions. The cold grey Buick sitting in front of me has to belong to Jay. Sure enough, I call his phone while brushing off the driver's window. The black box sitting in his cup holder starts vibrating and lights up with a picture of my face.

 _Well...fuck._

"Erin?"

"It's his!" I call back, not really bothering to identify the speaker I was replying to. I point over to a dark opening in the wood, a rectangular shape standing next to it. Jogging over, the rest of Intelligence joins me, Atwater brushing off the front.

"Trail map." I breathe, staring at the many different colored paths he could have taken. I search for the red and black, knowing he would only take the harder ones. He _does_ actually like to get his heart rate up. I eliminate any that lead to campsites, as well as any that aren't loops. As many times as I've run with him, he hates seeing the same scenery twice, unless absolutely necessary. So when my eyes land on the red that flows in a gentle circle, only remarking it's self on the fifteen feet to get to the parking lot, and that runs close to the edge of lake and river, I know it where he went.

"That one." I say affirmatively, pointing to colored line. All I receive are a bunch of blank stares. Sighing I explain.

"It hard but not impossible, runs through all parts of the forest, and never loops back on itself. You gonna argue with me or can we do this?" Once again I'm met with a hard state and slight growl from Voight, a clear indicator that I'm pushing my luck. I really don't care.

He splits us into two groups, Voight, Ruzek and Atwater going down the back way, Antonio, Al and I move straight. We instantly fan out, keeping within earshot of each other as we move quickly but carefully down the trail. Because while we don't want to miss anything, any clue as to where he is is quickly being covered by the storm. And so is Jay. Which means the time we have to find him before it's too late is running short.

We've gotten about four miles in when I spy something on the outer edge of the path I've been patrolling. Not that the snow gave any hint, but the broken tree branches as well as the displaced dirt and leaves just beneath the new layer of snow make it quite clear. Something happened here. I glance around, not seeing either of my two companions. We've all already had two false alerts, and I don't want to get any of our hopes up again.

Deciding instead to investigate, I take another step forward only to find that the ground disappears. With a yell I'm tumbling face first down a snowy embankment, only stopping as I hit something surprisingly soft. Groaning I slap a hand to my face and wipe the snow from it. Sitting up, I gaze up at the trail I left on my way down. Dirt is sprayed over the top, more oddly shaped mounds and valleys flow through the snow.

My hands move behind me as I sit up, bumping into my unexpected fall stopper. It's definitely not snow, and while it's squishy it also has the mark of bone beneath muscle, sorta like a-

Like an arm.

Suddenly it clicks in my mind, the disrupted scenery, the near impossible distinction between ground beneath foot and the valley. Apprehension shoots through me as I scramble onto my hands and knees, brushing snow of the soft mass that lies in front of me. At first it's just piece of grey cloth, but that slowly turns into a sweatshirt, which includes to arms and hands and suddenly I'm brushing of his face.

Before I can even register the thought, my mouth is open and I'm screaming, my breath making large white puffs in the air. I'm yelling, begging for the team to come all while telling them I found him, I found him and he's alive. My eyes never leave Halstead's face.

Pale cannot describe the complexion of his waxy skin. It is pure white, verging on grey at some spots. His lips are dark blue and I can see every tiny labored breath that passes through his lips. My hands find themselves cradling his face. His beautiful, handsome face, that looks so cold and blue, so opposite of his normal smiling, rosy cheeks.

Looking around I see I am in the bottom of a short but steep valley. Which is weird because the map had no contours of any kind to indicate such land feature, although it did have a riv-

" _Oh my god"_ I breath, not daring to move anymore than I already have. Closing my eyes I force myself to calm down, taking long controlled breaths.. _The rivers probably been frozen for a while. I bet the ice is really thick. Besides you don't even know you're on it. You could just be at the edge or something._

"Erin!" The call sounds from above me, jolting me out of my concentrated breathing.

"Watch it!" I yell up, just in time to keep Al and Antonio from running over the edge. They both skid to a stop, Dawson having to cling to a tree to keep from falling.

"You okay?!" Al's voice echoes across the canyon, making me wince. A shiver wrecks through me as I reply with a shaky 'yeah'. They have quite conversation above me before Dawson turns and carefully picks his way back behind the trees, breaking into a run right before he disappears from view.

"How's Jay?" The inevitable question has me tensing again, glancing fearfully at my partner's face again.

"He's-he's alive. A-and breathing." I have to clamp my mouth shut to stop my teeth from chattering, to no avail. My whole body is starting to shudder from the freezing cold. Still, it doesn't stop me from reaching up and brushing more snow from Jays hat and hair. My glove comes back covered in a dark sticky liquid, so red it's almost black.

Just daring to move forward an inch, I'm able to just see the edge of what appears to be a gash on his temple. I'm too far back however and just as I'm inching forward again, footsteps are heard above me the same time an eerie groan floats through the valley.

 _Nonononono-_

There are no other sounds following that one, save for my now very ragged breathing. A quick glance upward tells me the rest of the team were owners of those foot steps.

"Lindsay, just hold on, we're coming down to you."

"No!" I yell, instinctively tensing up without thinking of the consequences, as my unbalanced weight presses on what I now know must be ice. Normally, I wouldn't think I'd be so afraid of water, but I've almost drowned before, and when you are sitting on cracking ice completely filled with the knowledge that a hundred and seventy pounds of solid muscle is sitting beneath you (ignoring the love you have for that guy), at this point there is no way he could survive a dip, you can't even begin to fathom the idea of keeping him afloat, coupled with the fact that if I get wet right now my own survival will be in question….well let's just say fear has become a permanent part of my thought process.

"Erin, what-" Voight's words are cut off by a large resounding _CRACK_. My heart kicks into overdrive as I stare at the large expanding rift in the ice in front of me. It looks like the ice we are laying on is sinking slightly, but the rest of the ice is refusing, creating a shelf.

Apparently the ice isn't that thick on rivers because the blue ledge that is showing is only about half an inch thick. We shouldn't even still be on top of it, assuming what I remember about ice and its weight ratios is correct. _Half an inch of pure ice can hold a little over fifty pounds._ I glance again at my partner. Together we are over three hundred.

It's about then I feel the cold seeping more rapidly into my legs, followed by the registration of cold liquid in my boots.

"Holy _shit_!" I hiss, quickly shuffling my legs more towards the hill, away from the broken (and still breaking) ice. This position makes it easy for me to lean backward and sit on feet, now fully on dryer land. The problem remains however imminent and the frigid water now laps at the left side of Jay's weakened body. And no matter how hard I tug and pull at him I can't get him out of the water. Hell I can't even make him budge, I keep slipping on the snow and the painful numbness in my legs is making it near impossible.

On my last try my boots fail me completely and I fall face first on top of his chest. Heavy exhaustion seeps into my bones. I elect not to move anymore. I'm cold. So, so cold. ' _I've been out here twenty minutes and my body is already shutting down. How the hell can Jay survived four hours?'_ The thought flits briefly and bleakly through my head. I can feel how cold he is beneath me, how hard his body works to intake each breath. And I can feel how it's getting harder and harder for him.

Suddenly there is the crunching of boots besides me. I roll over pathetically, grinding my palms into my eyes. ' _Get up Erin, he needs you. Let's go.'_

I move slowly though, my feet and legs disobeying me as I try to stand. Sharp frigid pain shoots through them every time I try to move my feet. Growling frustration, I'm keen to annoy the voices around me until suddenly I'm in the air, being carried bridal style by Al.

"Hey!" He doesn't say anything for a response as Atwater helps us over the top of the ravine. The second we are no longer on the icy hill, I am scrambling out of his arms, crawling desperately to see.

Antonio and Voight have moved Halstead further up the embankment, so he is not longer in danger of the river. There's a shout from below, and then Dawson is leaning over him, pressing his hands on Jay's chest in a rhythm.

"W-what are th-th-they d-doing?" I stutter, my entire body shudder harder. It isn't until Voight takes over and Antonio leans down to…

"H-he's _dead?_ " I cry. Al's hands are around my torso, helping me stand as a triumphant yell sounds from the men below.

"Not any more." Kevin deadpans, which earns a look from Olinski as he hefts me to my feet again. I really can't feel anything south of my knees anymore, so I'm stuck just heaving my legs as whole to try and walk. It isn't until we get back to the parking lot does Alvin final answer my string of constant "What the fuck are we doing?"s.

"You're too cold Erin and so is he."

"Obviously." I mutter as he pulls me towards the Escalade.

"Yeah well a cold car isn't going to get you guys warmer."

"Oh yeah." He throws me a look before shoving in the back seat.

"Get your shoes and socks off." Al commands as he starts the car, the engine roaring to life. I do as I'm told, my mind too stuck on what was happening to Jay to object. He flips the heat on full blast and turns the car around, backing it up so the trunk is a few feet in front of the trail entrance. I drop my sodden boots under the seat, then pull myself over the back seats. In the trunk I open all the vents, feeling as the cold air from the engine slowly turns warm.

Pushing and pulling equipment around in the trunk, I finally end up with a suitable space for him. I have to fold the second row of seats down, but we took two cars, so everyone will fit. Speaking of cars, Al knocks on the back window, having departed from the other SUV after starting it turning it too towards the road.

"They're here. You ready?" His voice is muffled by the glass, but I nod preparing myself for the huge gust of air that follows opening the hatch. The trunk opens and snow is instantly blown in. The side door is also opened as Antonio climbs in and quickly shuts the portal to conserve heat. Together we help tug Halstead into the Escalade and out of the storm. Al climbs back into the driver's seat as Voight shuts the trunk, him, Ruzek and Atwater rushing to their own waiting vehicle.

I'm aware of the car starting to move, but the slipping of tires fades away as Antonio and I start to work on Jay. I strip his soaked sweatshirt, gloves, hat and other under garments until he's only in his base t shirt and running pants. He was pretty insulated, seeing the amount of techs hurts and cold gear he was wearing which, as Antonio remarks, is probably the sole reason he's alive.

"How long was he down?" I ask with a sniff, afraid his heart stopped while I was still with him and just didn't noticed.

"Not long. He stopped breath right after Al picked you up. Heart stopped before I could really react to it. " I nod, helping Dawson wrap more blankets around my partners prone body. Finally we've exhausted all our blankets, but every part of Jay's body is covered, save his head that I cradle in my lap. There is still no eye movement from him, Halsteads lips and eyelids different shades of alarming blue.

"Stay with me." I whisper, running my hands through his hair.

" _Stay with me."_

…

" _C'mon Jay stay with me here."_

 _Why? Do I have to? I don't want to stay here. Will, It's too cold. I want to go back to that other place. I saw it before. It warm. And I saw mom._

" _How long was he out there?"_

 _Out where? What's going on?_

" _Erin, it's okay we got him-"_

 _Erin?!_

" _Jay please!"_

"I got a pulse!" Someone is yelling in my ear, and I'd really love to tell them it's not appreciated but my tongue seems not to remember how to move. Nor my eyelids, or my mouth or my...whole body really. My eye is suddenly pried open, a horribly bright light shined into it. The process is repeated in my other eye and I'm aware of somebody's hand trying to open my jaw. Instinctively I clamp my jaw closed, my body jerking with the movement.

"That's more that's more than reflexes."

"Jay can you hear me?" I really, really wanted to say something like yes, I can fucking hear you, you're talking right in my ear. But once again my mouth doesn't obey its command and the only thing that comes out is a weak moan.

"Jay, listen to me, you need to open your mouth okay. We're gonna put a breathing tube in and it's going to help you breathe better. We'll knock you out you won't feel anything, but you need to relax your jaw." There's silence afterwards, where I decide to obediently open my mouth.

Warmth starts to seep into me, flowing from a small point on my arm. It's feels so nice, and it seems to combat that ice that previously settled in my veins. The warmth starts to grow rapidly, flowing determinedly through my torso and warming my abdomen. From there it flows to my feet where it seems to settle in my toes.

I do not try to move when the hand returns to my jaw, however I find that I can't move when they shove something down my throat. It's more than uncomfortable, but I suppose the price of this magnificent warmness in me is that it has taken my ability to move.

Air is suddenly pushed into my lungs through the tub, my chest rising without my consent. Once again I find that I can't move, can't react. But for some reason I'm okay with that, even as another breath is pushed into me. I'm warm, I'm so warm. It's so much better than before. Before I was colder than ice, if I wasn't made of ice myself. I was so cold. It was nice when I found my mom. She was warm.

Maybe I'll find her again, because I'm warm now. Unlike last time though, I can only find a milky darkness around me, not lights like when I found her.

I think I'll take a nap.

* * *

 **Alvin's P.O.V.**

I really wish someone would take a picture of us right now, because Intelligence's personalities seem to have completely flipped at the moment, and it's pretty funny.

There was no point in trying to get back to precinct, especially since Platt called and told us the powers been iffy for a while and finally they went to the generators to keep the heat on. We couldn't work even if we wanted too, as all the power to upstairs has been off for two hours now.

The team was given their own little enclosed waiting room on Jay's floor, where we could wait and relax. After being informed that Halstead not only shouldn't have made it to the hospital alive, but was currently in critical condition. They were currently still giving him treatment to try and warm his body, but for a while, they were pretty sure he wasn't going to keep going.

So even though it's the middle of the day now, it's very dark outside, and the lights are half off in our little hidey hole of the hospital. Erin was checked out and deemed to be okay, despite her little dip in the river. She was given a blanket and some coffee as well as a pair of scrubs from a nurse to wear while her clothes dry. Lindsay is currently sleeping on the couch using Hanks Lao as a pillow.

My friend is sitting still as stone, determined not to wake his surrogate daughter who was so clearly distraught over Jay flat lining in front of her. Twice. He also seems a hundred and fifty percent certain that Jay will be just fine, and when he wakes up he will fully enjoy Erin chewing the kid out.

I don't know how or at what point that Hank became okay with Lindsay and Halstead being a thing, but it happened and now he seems to really be liking the kid. Which is good, because despite what he liked to say, there was never really any warmth between the two.

Ruzek and Atwater are out for a walk around the hospital for the umpteenth time. My partner seemed to need somewhere to spend his anger, despite the fact that I know it's just his heart's way of trying to cover up the worry he has for Jay.

Dawson and I? Oh, we've just been sitting next to each other trying to beat each others impression of an emotionally and physically exhausted cop.

It's been about three hours since we brought the kid in, and it's another two before a doctor knocks softly on the door. I stand, careful to be quiet. Out in the hallway the man informs me of Jay's location and status before excusing himself to go back to work. Slipping back in the room I repeat the information to Voight and Dawson, the latter who gets up to go find Ruzek and Atwater.

"I'm gonna go sit with him." I whisper to Hank, who nods, shifting slightly on the small couch. I walk casually down the hall to Halstead's assigned room. The interior is a solid ten degrees warmer than the rest of the hospital. I take a glance at the bed's occupant and my heart drops.

"Damn it kid." I sigh as I sink into a chair by his cot. There's a tube down Jay's throat, looking highly uncomfortable as it pushes air into the man's lungs. Jay's face and hands are the only pieces of skin still visible under the blankets and gowns, both of which are much to pale. Without touching either I can tell that they'd be ice cold.

The doctor said they're going to slowly wean him off the ventilator, although they won't be able to completely take it out until tonight. It helps that he was still breathing when he came in, but I guess Will and that other guy, Rhodes or something, wanted to play it safe. It was too easy, they said, for him to just stop breathing. Jay's body was in complete shut down by the time we dragged him here. Breathing had stopped being a priority.

It all just reiterates the fact that we cut it close. Way way too close.

"You know kid when you wake up you owe a big thank you to Erin. Without her you'd be a frozen block of human right now." There is no response to my words, as I wasn't expecting one, so much as hoping. I know they had to heavily sedate him, I was standing in the room when even in his mostly dead state he refused to relax.

Miraculously, his fingers and toes were spared of too much damage. A lot of parts of him had frost bite, but the layers and the way he happened to land when he fell saved his hands from having to be removed from his body. His seemingly flimsy sneakers also happened to be 'the most insulated pair of breathable running sneakers ever fucking to walk this earth'. To quote Will Halstead. Not me.

Will had insisted on continuing work, besides the fact that his boss had told him he could stay with his brother. I think he just needed something to do, and saving other people was his way of making up for not being able to work on his brother.

I stay like that for about an hour, just staring at nothing and thinking. Finally a nurse and a doctor come in, asking politely that I leave for a couple minutes while they attempt to take the tube out. Complying I return to the small waiting room to find Erin waking up and Ruzek zonked out in the chair next to her. Hank is nowhere to be found, though I wonder if he went somewhere with Antonio.

"Erin." I whisper, shaking her shoulder slightly. She blinks blearily a couple times before her eyes snap open and she jolts into a sitting position.

"Al! Is he-"

"Easy, easy Lindsay." I mutter, shushing her loud voice. "C'mon, I'll bring you to his room." Gently I take her arm and she pads barefoot besides me down the hall. We meet the doctor on his way out, who gives us a smile.

"We took him off the ventilator, I'm pleased to say he is breathing strongly on his own now. He is however sleeping off the sedative and his body's exhausted, so don't be surprised it he doesn't wake up till the morning."

"So he's okay?" Erin asks eagerly. The man seems to ponder his words before finally answering.

"He's not quite out of the woods yet. With his rapid recovery it is possible that he could relapse, but I'm fairly confident that, other than being weak for a while, he should be okay."

"Thank you." I respond, pushing open the door for an abnormally quiet Erin Lindsay. She zips straight to the chair I was previously in. I lean against the wall as she picks up one of his hands in hers, seeming to flinch at the frigid mess of his skin. We stay like that for a while, the silence only broken by a text from Voight asking what we want from the cafeteria. Erin does even so much glance at her phone, do I respond for her.

Before the food can get there however, Halstead decides to make one of his timely appearances. It's a fight for a couple minutes, but eventually with some coaxing from his partner, Jay finally stretches open his eyes.

"You freaking idiot." Are the first words out of Erin's mouth as she leans forward and plants a kiss on his lips. I clear my throat slightly, but Erin just shoots me a look like ' _really? He's half dead. Let a girl live a little.'_

Chuckling, I step forward into the small amount of light in the room, watching clinically as Jay blinks owlishly up at us. His eyes though, never focus on either of our faces, just the general area.

 _Something's wrong._

"Erin?" He croaks, hesitantly trying to sit up, groaning as his strained body is out to use.

"Easy, easy Jay." I mutter, putting my hand on his shoulder, only to have Halstead jump like he was burned. Once again his eyes do not focus on me, on anything, and a feeling of dread seeps into my stomach, hardened by his next sentence.

"Al? W-where are you? Where am I?!" He stutters, full of fear. Erin puts her hand over mouth, before running out the room, saying she'll get a doctor.

"You're in a hospital. Chicago Med. We found you and brought you in. Do you remember what happened?" I ask gently, trying to calm the clearly distraught man. Jay seems to understand my meaning and concentrates on slowing his breathing before replying.

"There was a storm...Erin told me not to go but I did anyway. I'd run in worse before." He mumbles, engrossed in the memory.

"The trail was bad...I-I think I fell. It was so cold…" He whispers as a the doctor who previously informed us of his condition reenters the room.

"Mr. Halstead, I must say, I didn't quite expect you to be up so soon." Again Jay jumps slightly as the doctors loud voice contrasts his quiet entry.

"Your fiance said you were having some sight issues." Immediately the man's words are met with denial from both Jay and Erin.

"No we aren't-"

"He's not my-"

"We're just dating!" They finally say in unison, faces red with embarrassment. My face on the other hand, is red with the laughter I am trying hard not to let out.

"Huh. Will led me to believe...never mind. Well, we'll take you for another head CT, then a MRI. And go from there. That okay with you?" The doctor talks in continued sentence, never stopping to take a breath as he shines a penlight in Jay's unseeing eyes.

"We'll go right away." He says after Halstead nods, the doc saying something to the nurse before exiting the room.

"Would you like to be out when we bring you in? Sometimes it can be very disorienting knowing you are in a small space with being able to actually see your enclosure." The kid takes a deep breath before giving his answer and believe it or not he does agree to be sedated.

"What? I get claustrophobic with my eyes open, it'll be ten times worse in the dark." He responds when Erin squeezes, clearly worried.

"You get claustrophobic?" I ask. He nods, staring at floor near me.

"Yup."

"Why did we not know that?"

"All do respect Al, but when I first came on the team, I didn't think you'd care." A different man returns after this with the doctor, who informs us of the man's nature.

"Jay this is the anesthesiologist, he's going to give you something to relax okay. You'll only be out for a few hours, so I just want you relax, and when you start to feel tired, don't fight it." The nurse started to unhook a couple machines from the wall as the man presses a needle into Jay's I.V. emptying the syringes contents. Erin stands at steps back at the nurse's request and we all watch as our friends eyes slowly dim, eventually drooping closed. As the medical personnel file out with their patent I turn back to Erin.

"He'll be okay."

"Al if he can't see...he won't ever be able to come back to work. It'll break him." Her voice is low, dangerously close to breaking.

"Hey, come here." I murmur, pulling her in for a hug. I may not have the same relationship with Erin that Hank does, but I still care for her.

"He's going to be okay. " I whisper again and she lets out a sob into my shoulder.

"He was so cold, Al. I thought he was gone and I couldn't-" The muffled words are cut off by another sob. She doesn't make another attempt to speak, instead starting to cry into my shoulder. She continues for a couple minutes, all while I speak soft nothings of comfort, although I know the only thing that can ease her pain and fear will be time with the man currently being wheeled down the hall.

"I almost lost him." She says finally, leaning away from my embrace and drying her eyes with her sleeve. Erin stares at nothing for a minute, before her face seems to change back into the strong determined girl Halstead feel for the second he saw her. She pushes her hands into her hair, letting out a growled "I'm gonna kill him." underneath her breath before grabbing my arm and dragging me from the room.

"C'mon, let's find me some shoes. I'm hungry."

* * *

 **Erin's P.O.V.**

The idiot wasn't permanently blind, the only thing contributing to that was the fact that he woke up earlier than normal. Had he not, the bleed in his brain, though minor, would have gone unnoticed, permanently taking his sight before progressing into major brain damage that would have led to comatose and/or death.

Needless to say, despite his grouching about waking up with a new hair cut, (when the last thing he remembered was going for a CT) he was more than happy to trade that condition for the ability to see. And breath on his own. Two of the many things I chewed him out on when he woke up. Including but not limited to using his common sense for more than once in his fucking life.

"The weather guy did not say it was going to get that bad that fast. Nor did he say it was going to start that early."

"Doesn't matter! He still said it was going to snow three feet in like four hours and when you got up to go there was already three inches on the ground! What in god's name possessed you to go running in that! You almost fucking died you know that?"

"Yeah Erin, I'm quite aware!"

It's been a couple days since we dragged him into the hospital, and only a couple minutes since being back at his apartment that we are fighting again. For some reason, everything he's said since he woke up the second time, has just rubbed me the wrong way. It's like he doesn't understand why him almost dying is a big deal. Which scares me. A lot.

"Apparently not! Because maybe, if you cared about yourself, about _me_ , you wouldn't keep doing this shit!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?! I wasn't trying to die! And of course I care about you Erin!"

"Coulda fooled me!

" _What?!_ "

"You throw yourself at danger all the time Jay. You put yourself in front of guns, run into things without backup and now this! What do you think will happen if you die Jay? You think I'll just be okay and move on no problem!? I can't do this without you!"

Suddenly an idea pops into my head. A wild, crazy idea that I wouldn't even think about doing normally, but I'm so hopped up on adrenaline that I can't help myself.

"All those things are part of _our_ _job_ Erin! I can't just sit back and-"

"Marry me." Boom. The words are out there now, I can never take them back. Everything seems to stop as I watch the color and anger drain from Jay's face and for a second I think he might pass out.

"What?" He asks weakly.

"I can't do this without you Jay, I can't. I love you. Do you love me?" Jay keeps staring at me even as my heart seems to pound out of my chest and into my throat.

"Of course I do Erin. You know that. I've loved you forever."

"Then what are we waiting for?" I cross the room to stand in front of him.

"Let's go. Right now. I can get Al and he can be our witness."

"What about Hank?" He asks, clearly overwhelmed by my spur of the moment thing.

"When has he stopped us?" I whisper, holding his ironically still cold hands in mine. Finally Jay's eyes clear of the shock and confusion, to be filled only with love as he looks at me. And when he kisses me it's everything I've ever known to mean love in my life. It's beautiful. And it's ours.

"Who knows? Maybe together we'll finally listen to his rules." He murmurs in my ear. I throw my head back and laugh.

"One day."

* * *

 **Its finally done! Took me a while ( I started in November) but it's done.**

 **P.S. special shout out to WritingChicago, for all the encouragement.**

 **Review?**


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